Being a tween these days is much easier than it used to be. In the olden days, a cultural iconography of thinness wasn’t in place, so women with curves would walk around (in daylight!) comfortable with their bodies as if they were just as good looking as thin women! But lucky for us, in this day and age we have been taught to be ashamed of our natural figures, and the media has set in place very narrow specifications that tell us exactly what we should look like! Every magazine cover, Disney movie and Save Darfur campaign holds images that remind our sub conscience of what we need to look like, which is really convenient because sometimes we forget and actually get hungry.
Michael Peterson, a doctor of some sort, said “the adolescent inFATuation with the cultural icon of thinness has contributed to an array of unhealthy behaviors.” Even thought Michael Peterson is a jealous cunt, his concern for your population’s well being means that a significant number of tweens are participating in these “unhealthy behaviors”! Which in turn means that a significant number of tweens are fucking drop dead beautiful!!! By skipping meals, wearing saran wrap while working out and chasing their laxatives with coffee, tweens are finally a force to be reckoned with! Don’t you see- If you are mature enough to starve yourself to fit the unnatural ( but awesome) ideal of beauty enforced by the media, then who knows what you are capable of! If you are thin enough, people will think you are smart too, and will listen to you when you share opinions regarding politics, which Jonas bro is the hottest (Joe) and if that Alexander McQueen for Target line is really going to be as great as the hype indicates.
If for some reason you missed the boat and arent on an extreme diet ( aka aren’t drop dead beautiful), have no fear fatty. I have Google searched far and wide and have found several sites that can help you be less of a weirdo outcast.
Ana Mia Pro-Ana Tape Worm Diet (GENIUS)
